I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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