Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone