ya dads aren't the best wingmen
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize