sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
