Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
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Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
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Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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