grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
