Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You're like the curious george of whores
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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