I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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