After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex