i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
