and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
