i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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