What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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