I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
