I bet he comes in French.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize