Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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