Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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