i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The Olympian is in my bed
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7