I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
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No more Irish car bombs ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
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I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.