my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize