Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
