He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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