What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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