I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw