Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.