Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.

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(416): Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat. http://tfl.nu/ucz3

Replies (47) Good night (732) Bad night (6732) Order T-Shirt
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(703): View more from Virginia

I can feel you judging me through the phone.

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(703): I can feel you judging me through the phone. http://tfl.nu/i7dh

Replies (14) Good night (1120) Bad night (3363) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.

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(917): My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts. http://tfl.nu/py1e

Replies (22) Good night (1983) Bad night (3317) Order T-Shirt
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.

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(484): Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved. http://tfl.nu/qswh

Replies (7) Good night (3725) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.

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(615): Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done. http://tfl.nu/9ur9

Replies (1) Good night (1496) Bad night (945) Order T-Shirt
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(509): View more from Washington

God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number

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(509): God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number http://tfl.nu/k3zo

Replies (5) Good night (1979) Bad night (963) Order T-Shirt
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(225): View more from Louisiana

I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.

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(225): I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave. http://tfl.nu/w0e5

Replies (20) Good night (895) Bad night (2281)
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(410): View more from Maryland

So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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(410): So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right? http://tfl.nu/zwo3

Replies (15) Good night (2757) Bad night (1075) Order T-Shirt
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(773): View more from Illinois

I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.

(847): View more from Illinois

Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st

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(773): I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head. (847): Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st http://tfl.nu/ptod

Replies (6) Good night (3234) Bad night (753)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.

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(802): I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms. http://tfl.nu/3zhe

Replies (9) Good night (402) Bad night (1732) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.

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(202): Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked. http://tfl.nu/s7s6

Replies (6) Good night (553) Bad night (1054)
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(214): View more from Texas

How are ur friends?

(512): View more from Texas

One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car

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(214): How are ur friends? (512): One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car http://tfl.nu/yl37

Replies (4) Good night (922) Bad night (358)
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(585): View more from New York

She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.

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(585): She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me. http://tfl.nu/s5wp

Replies (3) Good night (425) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.

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(917): Using Michelob Ultra as champagne. http://tfl.nu/k4qo

Replies (4) Good night (316) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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(830): View more from Texas

Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.

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(830): Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old. http://tfl.nu/rc4y

Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (232) Order T-Shirt

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