So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.