Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.

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  (313): Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical. http://tfl.nu/9qp0
  Replies (2) Good night (684) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (389): View more from

  So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"

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  (389): So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut" http://tfl.nu/g5tq
  Replies (4) Good night (1082) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...

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  (864): If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late... http://tfl.nu/m8kg
  Replies (2) Good night (1571) Bad night (484) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.

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  (480): WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE. http://tfl.nu/0o9o
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (1766) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face

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  (408): you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face http://tfl.nu/f86d
  Replies (46) Good night (10569) Bad night (2609) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.

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  (402): In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck. http://tfl.nu/gl2y
  Replies (7) Good night (3213) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY

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  (210): every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY http://tfl.nu/204o
  Replies (19) Good night (6491) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'

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  (443): In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.' http://tfl.nu/dm32
  Replies (17) Good night (2025) Bad night (3704) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich

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  (717): Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich http://tfl.nu/kdwm
  Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (2262) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore

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  (440): Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore http://tfl.nu/9n7j
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?

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  (402): Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this? http://tfl.nu/pyyb
  Replies (6) Good night (1528) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..

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  (828): Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask.. http://tfl.nu/ioqq
  Replies (8) Good night (508) Bad night (2443) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him

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  (757): Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him http://tfl.nu/gn0k
  Replies (13) Good night (799) Bad night (1995) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.

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  (302): Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you. http://tfl.nu/p99c
  Replies (7) Good night (1349) Bad night (442)
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  (949): View more from California

  We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.

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  (949): We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex. http://tfl.nu/qzkw
  Replies (14) Good night (2262) Bad night (229)

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