When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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