I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.