Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
