the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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