Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize