her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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