Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize