i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
