you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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