Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize