Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize