The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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