$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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