you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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