...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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