You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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