found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
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Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
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I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.