ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.