it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
