please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar