I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
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Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
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Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.