Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me