david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize