Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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