if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.