i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch