i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
