im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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