how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think people are normalizing furries
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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