I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
